I rarely drink soda but when I do I expect to be compensated for it. I mean I’m sort of a big deal on the internet being a famous blogger and all. Can I seriously be expected to give out prime real-estate on my site with some crazy free product placement deal?
Not long ago, as my most recent soda shakes began to take hold, I decided to do what any right-minded capitalistic American would do. I called up my agent and told him to get me some sort of big time blogger/soda endorsement deal before I came down to his office and told him stories about the Ancient Aztecs used to rip off the heads of their fallen enemy and shit in their skull before using the head itself, now filled with poop, in some ancient form of basketball.
Since I live in NYC and I’m a Yankees fan it seemed natural that we set our sights on PepsiCo. Besides, their worldwide headquarters is just north of the city in White Plains which meant, travel-wise, I could literally do as little as possible to try and seal this deal.
Once my agent got us the meeting we hopped on the Metro North to White Plains and got ready to do battle with these guys. I have to admit that there were a few points during the negotiations that got pretty ugly. There was a lot of name-calling and a lot of, “are you fucking serious, do you really think there’s any goddamned chance in hell that we would even consider giving you money just for sitting around drinking a Pepsi while you blag or blark or whatever the fuck you call it then you’re out of your god damned mind,” or something to that effect.
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